I Drew This

We’re paying off a couch, or something (could be the lawn mower or last week’s groceries) through one of those lending services where you get one-year-interest-free loans when you buy a new appliance. We juggle all our payments and do an ok job of it but sometimes our payday doesn’t coincide with their billing cycle, so we have to pay it a week late or something. But every time you’re a couple of days late, they’re on the phone to you, asking for their money, as if one of the world’s biggest lending services is going to go belly-up if they don’t get your $40 within the next two working days.

Their calls also have the same structure. First, they ask if you are you. Then they tell you the call will be recorded for training purposes. Then they ask where their money is, and you make up some shit about how you’ll pay it by phone as soon as the call ends, honest.

Then they ask you to confirm all your details with them, so you have to recite your birthdate, home address, mother’s maiden name, the second verse of the national anthem, work, home and mobile numbers (one of which they’ve just called you on, so you’d think they’d know it) and your favorite football team in the Bundesliga.

But they ask you to do all this after you’ve had the conversation about the late payment.

So after they say “Thanks for promising to pay as soon as you hang up, now can I just confirm your details?” why can’t bring myself to say, just once, “Nah, I’m fine,” and hang up?