Don’t quote me on this

Every so often, I look at the local trash rag, The Advertiser, and I get annoyed. Really, I should just stop looking at it. Then again, when it’s not annoying me, I find it to be a great source of laughter, if not for the editorial content, then for the grammatical errors. I once did a radio show with a comedian who is now quite well known and on national TV lots and lots (I won’t drop any names; you never know if they’re going to break), and he said to me when we started out together that the ’tiser was the best source of material he knew. (He still does radio… on a much more popular station… with someone else. But I’m not bitter. Stations these days prefer the comedian/comedian combination rather than the funny guy/straight guy routine we seemed to do quite well ifIdosaysomyself).

Yesterday I looked at the front page and seeing as how the Pope had died and all (and wasn’t it an anti-climax for the nation’s newspapers, happening just as Australia was waking up: too late to stop the presses and change the front page (to one they no doubt had ready to go, had the news come as late as 3am or so) but perfect for TV to roll out the obituaries they’d been updating ever since he took the job), the big A had a pic of JPII with the headline “The Angels Welcome You”.

I was most disappointed to read the actual copy of the main story, finding a total of zero quotes from actual angels, leading me to the conclusion that the whole welcome they had attributed to an unspecified number of angels, must have been a pure fabrication.

The other papal-death thing that I find strange is the huge amount of mourning that goes on among devout catholics. It always reminds me of that bit from Twelfth Night, where the jester (Feste?) is talking to the lady (Olivia?):
F: Fair lady, why dost thou mournest?
O: For my dead husband.
F: I thinketh that his soul must beeth in hell
O: I knoweth his soul resteth in heaven, fool.
F: More the fool you, for mourning your husband’s soul being in heaven!

I’m paraphrasing Shakespeare of course but that’s the gist of it. And I think you see what I mean. The guy’s now enjoying eternal life in paradise apparently and Catholics everywhere are all down in the mouth about it. Religion is weird.

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