It’s not often I feel compelled to devote a post to a bus journey but the trip from Avalon airport into the city was an absolute doozie.
I’ve long had some kind of weird fascination for bus drivers, specifically coach drivers. On every school trip we went on, we’d call our bus driver Barry. The name just seemed to fit. I think we actually surprised a few of them by getting it right. But growing up in the 80s, when plane travel was still very much the domain of the elite, and living in a town that had its only rail service suspended, coach travel was in its heyday, with reclining seats, curtains and, on very special coaches, a VCR on which you may have been lucky enough to see such gems as Splash, Mr Mom or something equally as sanitised starring Robin Williams or Michael Douglas (of course, you’d see them on a television which was invariably attached with some kind of RF lead to said VCR; I can’t imagine a load of coach travellers being excited by watching the heads of a top-loading VCR spin around through that little translucent window. “Oooh, Tom Hanks is in there!”).
Back then, coach drivers had that air of professionalism; they were, after all, ‘Captains’ of their roadcraft (as opposed to aircraft or seacraft). They had the tanned skin, the winning smile, the carefully blow-dried hair, the neatly pressed and over-starched shirt, and yet, like their truckie cousins, they still wore shorts to work.
I think our driver from Avalon to Melbourne must have been one of those shiny Coach Captains of the 80s as he was eager to point out some of the places of interest between the airport and the city, along the lines of:
“Out here at Avalon, some of the scenes from Mad Max were shot.
“We’re currently travelling on Highway 1, which circumnavigates Austraya. Out to the right is Point Wilson, where they test all the ammunition.
“We’re now passing by the town of Little River, pop-y’lation of about 6000. This is where the famous Little River Band originated.
“We’re now passing the Werribee sewerage farm: 10,000 hectares that services the water treatment of Melbourne and the western suburbs. The farm is made up of 10 ponds, one to two hectares each. The first pond is covered and that supplies all the methane that is needed to power the plant.”
[I'll leave that quote there, partly because he went on so long about it and partly because I'm having trouble reading my shorthand]“We’ll shortly be passing under Point Cook Road. At the end of Point Cook Road is Point Cook Airforce Base, which is now turned into a museum. If you ever get down to have a loogedit, it’s free admission to get in.”
Gold… all of it.
Thanks, Baz.