Archive for the ‘TV’ Category

Eurosomethingorother

Sunday, May 17th, 2009

I’ve often thought I should try liveblogging. If only for my own entertainment. But y’know…

Firstly, at the time most liveblogworthy things are on, I’m usually getting kids to bed, loading the dishwasher and generally cleaning up the mess I’ve made earlier in the afternoon.

Secondly, and probably more pertinently, I live in South Australia so unless I want to liveblog the McGarey Medal count (a medal ceremony for local nugget-headed footballers (a tautology in itself), where they all sit at tables and gasp in amazement as a presenter on stage continually impresses them by counting to three), there’s very little point. See, we’re half an hour behind the east coast of Australia, so nothing is live here. I’d be reporting on who’s been eliminated from SYTYCD and commenting on Natalie’s frock, while in reality she would be back in the green room in her tracksuit pants downing her second Bacardi and Coke (because she’s a classy girl).

It’s also difficult with something like Eurovision, because we’re 8.5 hours ahead of western Europe and while it may seem a good idea to blog it that far in advance, there are obvious flaws in the plan. It’s a Saturday night deal in Europe but we have to content ourselves with watching a delayed telecast on Sunday evening.

I’ve been big into Eurovision since SBS started broadcasting it in the late 90s. It appeals to me because it’s the zenith of ironic consumption. Everyone in it is so into it and has such a great time, and seem to genuinely participate in the rivalry, even though everyone knows it really is a little bit shit.

It’s still fun to watch and it’s getting a bit more of a following over here now but I’m not sure a lot of people here get that it’s kind of supposed to be sort of crap. Australians love to take the piss but, I dunno, I kind of get the idea that it’s more derisive and genuine than being in on the joke. I kind of miss how we used to get the British feed with Terry Wogan with his reserved and veiled sarcasm, which again, you kind of had to get it to get it.

I nearly didn’t watch it tonight though, after the local Channel Nine news, in an act of sheer televisual bastardry, blurted out that Norway had won the competition as they threw to a commercial break. No ‘we’ll give you the winners after the break’ or ’stay tuned for the winner of Eurovision’ just a completely unexpected announcement in what must have been a deliberate attempt to fuck it up for anyone that wanted to watch it later. It would be competing with 60 Minutes after all, so they took it upon themselves to ruin it for everyone.

Nul points, chaine neuf. NUL POINTS!!

Posted in Adelaide, Media, Music, TV | 1 Comment »

Maybe the Olympics weren’t so bad…

Sunday, August 31st, 2008

TV is so shit right now. It’s Sunday night and C is flicking between Dancing with People Who Can’t and Oz Idol. There was just a bit in Idol, where they were telling a big girl that she was about to get through and were kind of quizzing her on her weight. Can she take the pressure, is she the kind of person that has the strength to go all the way? She’s so fat; how can she do it?

Of course she can fucking do it. She has an amazing voice. Isn’t that what you’re after? And if you’re talking about huge people, helloooo? Kyle? Looked in a fucking mirror lately? You seem to be doing okay in the big nasty media industry and, unlike the big girl, there’s not a shred of talent (unless you call being a rude fuck ‘talent’, as C has just pointed out).

It’s hard to watch Kyle say something “sincere”. Some guy was blubbering about a loving SMS he got from his dad (nothing says fatherly love like ‘u got it kid, go 4 it’) and Kyle said something like “That’s really great” in very half-hearted tones. The only thing that usually comes out of Kyle’s mouth is base, predictable and fairly tawdry invective but they do love the gushy mushy crap on Idol so Kyle’s obviously had a talking to. He has to be nice occasionally even if it’s completely unbelievable.

And they just pissed a guy off because he was being realistic about where Idol might take him. “To be honest, I don’t think I want to win,” he said, citing reasons that he’d seen previous winners go on to do not that much and not been that impressed. Silly boy. In doing so, he’s trashing the show and Dicko takes personal offence to that. And Kyle does his best job of pretending to be outraged. Marcia does her serious look and all three gods change their decisions from In to Bugger Off.

And we’ve just switched over to the ABC to see some bod on Inspector Barnaby’s beat whipping himself at the high altar of the Midsomer Anglican church. Nothing like a bit of shirtless flaggelation to spice up a Sunday night.

And Toni Pearen is heating up the floor and being wolf-whistled by a studio full of 50-year-old dorks in bad shirts. Poor thing, she actually looks like she knows what she’s doing, making Tod “Honest, officer, I don’t know where those pills came from” McKenney gush. It’s embarrassing to watch.

I think I might go and clip my nails.

Posted in Australia, TV | No Comments »

Four years on…

Friday, August 15th, 2008

I was thinking about writing a post on the Olympics until I realised I did that four years ago.

Here, and here.

Only the city has changed, really.

And last night I watched handball.

Posted in Events, It's a blog, Media, Sport, TV | 3 Comments »

Hollowriteypeople

Sunday, August 10th, 2008

The ABC series The Hollowmen has only been running, what, five weeks? But it’s already become the journalistic cliché for all comparison to the goings on in government.

There was a comparison in the Australian yesterday by Caroline Overington in her opening paragraph. I’ve heard or read countless comparisons in the last few weeks. Hell, I heard Matt Abraham utter the sentence “It sounds like an episode of The Hollowmen” after only one episode had aired! I assume when he said ‘an episode’ he must have meant ‘the only episode that anyone has seen’. That said, he does work for the ABC, he may be privy to screenings we plebs (and ex-employees) aren’t.

Overington’s mention yesterday read:

So much of what happens in Canberra these days sounds like an episode of the ABC political satire The Hollowmen…

Can I just say, to every ideas-challenged journalist that makes the comparison: of course it is! That’s the whole point of the bloody show! It’s supposed to sound like the actual goings on of what happens in politics. That’s why it’s called political satire! It’s Rob, Tommy and Santo making the comparisons. Just because you write about it, doesn’t make you clever or even make good copy.

They’re the clever ones; you’re  just stating the obvious.

Posted in Australia, Media, TV | No Comments »

China, shmina

Friday, August 8th, 2008

I’m a little disappointed by the opening ceremony.

I mean, if they wanted to compete with Sydney as being the best olympics ever, I’d at least have expected pandas on bikes.

Posted in Events, TV | 4 Comments »

So, you think?

Friday, June 27th, 2008

First there was the Australian version of the American version of Idol. Then we had Ice Skating with People Who Have Been On TV, which nobody watched because we don’t really ice skate much in this harsh, hot land of ours. This was followed by Dancing with People You’ve Heard Of and So You Think You Can Dance Even Though You’re Not Famous, the rules of which were slightly broken by Rhys “Elf” Bobridge, who was already a professional performer, having appeared in a TV series and in sellout live shows all around the country. He got away with it though by being famous only to girls under the age of eight.

But I digress. TV networks are scraping the barrel of the performance/knockout genre, with Seven recently subjecting us to Battle of the Groups of Bad Singers (I mean if I wanted to see amateurs who can barely sing, doing bad numbers that were neither written nor arranged for ensemble performance, I’d go to an eisteddfod).

So, in an effort to play my part for the discerning viewer, I’d like to pitch some suggestions to TV execs. We can discuss terms later.

  • So You Think You Can Write A Novel, in which contestants must write a new chapter every week, to be read out in front of a screaming crowd and panel of judges. Of course, each chapter must be edited to fit into the 90 seconds of performance time given to each contenstant.
  • Gardening With The Stars: a bit like the celebrity segment of Burke’s Backyard, only competitive, with contestants having to produce a crop of veges, plant a native garden, and strike a fruit tree from a cutting
  • Australian Flirt in which the judges and presenters are probably more likely to win
  • Battle of the Abstract Impressionists. A group of painters must produce a work based on a subject of the judges’ choosing each week. Bonus, adults-only episode screens after 9.30 pm in week six. Yes, life drawing
  • Train Surfing with the Stars. I’m really excited about this one. Given the risky nature of the activity can I suggest we get Daryl Somers, Sam Newman, Will Anderson, the Australia-wide presenters of ACA and TT. Oh, and the cast of Home and Away
  • So You Think You Can Sleep. Surely it would be better than those late-night infomercials. Who wouldn’t want to see the semi-final, in which a travel agent from Queensland loses out to production assistant from Tassie after a Horlicks-related lactose-intolerance-causes-late-night-farting-and-insomnia incident
  • Chess with the Stars. Riveting viewing, this one. They’d have those special clocks. Sandra Sully would be an early casualty, finding it mentally taxing having to think more than one move ahead
  • So You Think You Can Whittle: these twelve rocking chairs on this porch… will eventually become one
  • Self-immolation With The Stars. There’s just not enough kerosene really, is there.

What have you got, people?

Posted in Australia, Featured, Media, TV | 6 Comments »

The only Conchords fan

Thursday, June 12th, 2008

Just got this link from a friend. A treat for Flight of the Conchords fans.

Posted in Links, Music, TV | No Comments »

And hey, hey, hey… there goes Richard

Wednesday, May 10th, 2006

So the miners have been rescued, which is lovely for them. Most networks ran long with this story last night because it was payoff time. This was a network’s wet dream. It had all the elements of drama, suspense, touches of humour and poignant sadness. No wonder every on-air personality was there covering it. Now they’re out, It’ll be interesting to see how much they milk it from here. Look out for the 30-min current affairs special, recapping the whole drama from start to finish.

Look out also for the montage at the end of the news, with slo-mo replay of the families first finding out they were alive, then the anguish of the seemingly endless delays, and finally footage of them coming out of the mine lift and shaking their fists in the air, victorious. I’m thinking Wind Beneath my Wings (the crappy Bette Middler version, not the less crappy, orginal, Australian, Colleen Hewitt version).

Look out also for the tribute montage at the end of this week’s 60 Minutes, with slo-mo replays of Richard Carleton being rude to Bob Hawke, Richard fawning over Imelda’s shoe collection, Richard flirting with the Spice Girls, Richard enjoying his picnic basket and a nice red, and drawing much unwanted attention to some East Timorese independence voters, Richard brooding with a scornful, contemptuous look on his face during John Doyle’s Andrew Olle Lecture last year. I’m thinking that song that goes ‘and then a hero comes along…’

Lastly, not that I want to admit I was anywhere near a TV last night during Dancing with People You’ve Heard Of, did Daryl really commit an incredibly heinous faux pas? I’m sure one of the dancers had a ‘Get Well Sophie’ sign on his back, for that little girl who was run over by a car for the second time. I swear I heard Daryl say “Maybe she’s watching…”

Sure Daryl, maybe, she could possibly have come out of her coma just to watch your ridiculous show. For the record, I was only watching it because C was watching it and I was waiting for another batch of shortbread to bake.

Posted in Events, Featured, Ma vie, Media, TV | No Comments »